When we compare ourselves to others

5 / 4 / 165 / 4 / 16

Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else – [biblegateway passage=”Galatians 6:4″ display=”Galatians 6:4″] (NIV)

A few weeks ago, I attended a women’s retreat. It was a much needed break away from the demands of life where I spent time relaxing, writing and taking pictures of my beautiful surroundings.

I also formed new relationships with other Christian women. The faith of these women is amazing, and I loved spending time with them. Their actions and words taught me new ways at responding to the glory of God.

When I returned home and hit the un-pause button of life, I expected to be filled with excitement from the weekend. But that’s not what happened.

Instead, I found myself feeling inadequate compared to my new friends. Their worship is huge and their emotions run deep. God is using them in a big way. But why was I there? What do I have to offer compared to these beautiful women?

Leah’s eyes were weak, but Rachel was beautiful in form and appearance. – [biblegateway passage=”Genesis 29:17″ display=”Genesis 29:17″] (NIV)

Leah and Rachel spent years in the comparison trap. Leah felt inadequate in her appearance, and Rachel felt unworthy because she could not have children. Both had what the other wanted. They spent a lot of wasted time and energy focused on what they did not possess.

I wonder if Leah and Rachel ever realized the unique gifts God had given to each of them. Gifts they could use to glorify God.

My friend, Kristine Brown, just finished writing a book called Over It: Conquering Comparison to Live out God’s Plan. In it she says, “Remain confident in who God says you are, what He says to do, and what He has for you. Only then will you be able to release the need to measure up.”

It’s good advice which I took to heart, because it’s impossible to follow God when our eyes are focused on comparing ourselves to others and not on him.

Remember who you are in Christ and that you are unconditionally loved by him.

It’s easy to compare ourselves to other women, but it can also be very damaging to our self-esteem. Over It: Conquering Comparison to Live out God’s Plan will introduce you to three women in scripture who fell into the comparison trap, but ultimately found freedom. Take this journey and learn how to free yourself from comparing yourself to others and live the life God has planned for you.

Purchase a copy of Over It: Conquering Comparison to Live out God’s Plan today.

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Where the dark valley meets Jesus

4 / 26 / 16

When I pray, you answer me and encourage me by giving me the strength I need.
[biblegateway passage=”Psalm 138: 3″ display=”Psalm 138: 3″] (TLB)

Recently, my family and I moved my mom into a nursing home. She suffers from Alzheimer’s disease and can no longer take care of herself.

Mom is a roamer. She cannot sit still and is constantly walking. I visit her often, and we spend our time together walking the halls of her new home. Because she can no longer form words, we walk in silence. Occasionally she will reach for my hand and at other times, I put my arm protectively around her.

These visits are emotionally hard, especially when it’s time for me to leave. I lean down to give her a kiss and tell her goodbye. She nods her head, turns and walks away.

As I leave the building, I turn to make sure she is not watching me. It’s easier this way. I then walk to my car where I break down in tears.

She has been in her new environment for a month now. I thought it would get easier, but it doesn’t. The struggle gets harder with each visit.

A few nights ago, I decided not to visit mom. I couldn’t bear the pain of leaving her again. But God nudged me, and I obediently went.

That night, we took the same silent walk through the halls, but when it was time for me to leave, mom did something different. Instead of walking away after saying our goodbyes, she walked with me to the door. She sat in a chair and watch me leave.

Did she think I was abandoning her? I can only hope she understands why it has to be this way.

Outside, I turned to see her in the window. Her face was expressionless as she stared at nothing. It was then the tears came, and my heart exploded in pain.

I ran to my car in frustration. I was angry and scared. All I wanted to do was run back inside and take mom home with me. But I knew that was not the best option for mom.

Instead, in this dark and heartbreaking moment, I reached out to Jesus. He came to me that night with open hands, and I gave him my frustration and anger over the present and my fear of the future.

And when I was done, he gave me something in return – peace.

Even when walking through the dark valley of death I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me, guarding, guiding all the way. [biblegateway passage=”Psalm 23: 4″ display=”Psalm 23: 4″] (TLB)

Since that night, mom has not been miraculously healed and our situation has not changed. But I have God’s peace and assurance that he is walking through this trial with me. His strength will see me through it.

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Over It: Conquering Comparison to Live Out God’s Plan Book Review

4 / 5 / 16

That women over there – the one with the perfect hair and stylish clothes – sure does have it all together. She has a much better handle on life than me. She is organized, I am not. She always knows what to say in any situation. My mind suddenly becomes blank in situations where I need to think quickly. If only I could be just like her…

“Taking our focus away from God & placing it on other women diverts our course.” – Kristine Brown

It’s easy to compare ourselves to other women, but it can also be very damaging to our self-esteem. Kristine Brown’s new book Over It: Conquering Comparison to Live Out God’s Plan leads the reader through stories of three women in Scripture who fell into the comparison trap. Go deep into scripture and discover how these brave women found freedom from comparing.

Take this journey and learn how to free yourself from the expectations of others and live the life God has planned for you.

“By committing everything I do to God, I’m letting go of the desire to please others.” – Kristine Brown

Purchase your copy of Over It: Conquering Comparison to Live Out God’s Plan. A portion of the proceeds of this fantastic book will benefit the More Than Yourself Scholarship program for girls.

Seeing God in the storm

3 / 29 / 163 / 29 / 16

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. – [biblegateway passage=”Isaiah 41:10″ display=”Isaiah 41:10″]

I sat beside my dad as he lay in a hospital bed in the critical care unit. I rested my head on the bed’s railing and held his hand in mine.

I thought back to a few days before when he told me about an upcoming fishing trip he was planning. He was excited to take this yearly trip that gave him rest and rejuvenated his mind and body.

Dad’s age has not stopped him from living an independent life while being the primary care giver to my mom who has Alzheimer’s disease.

I always knew that if something were to happen to dad, there would be tough decisions to be made about mom. She needs 24-hour care which myself and my siblings cannot provide.

The day dad went to the hospital, I did the hardest and toughest thing I’ve ever had to do. I moved mom to a nursing home.

For now, this is a temporary move . If dad recovers, he will continue to care for her. If not – well, I’m not ready to go there yet.

This heart-breaking choice haunts me. Mom, who has become the child in our relationship, now sleeps in an unfamiliar place surrounded by strangers. I asked her for forgiveness, but she did not understand my plea.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring or if dad will recover. This dark valley I currently walk is filled with anxiety, stress and sadness. It is a place I walk knowing that life can change forever in the next moment.

If I were not in my shoes – if I were merely watching someone else’s life – I would feel sorry for them. I might even wonder where God is during all of this.

But I am not observing it. I am living it. And God is here with me.

Mom can no longer verbally communicate. The disease has taken that away from her. But God speaks through her. I see Him when her eyes light up at the sight of my dad and when she tenderly holds his hand in hers.

I see Him when dad tells me how much he loves me and when he makes me laugh even though he is in pain.

I see Him when mom reaches out her hand and puts it in mine.

I see Him when my husband manages our home in my absence.

I see Him in friends who reach out to make sure I am ok.

I see Him in my aunts who are acting in mom’s place to make sure I get enough rest.

And I see him in my siblings as we encourage and comfort each other.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. – [biblegateway passage=”Psalm 23:4″ display=”Psalm 23:4″]

With every step I take on this journey, God is constantly reminding me of his presence. He is holding me up and giving me the strength to walk.

And the best part is, He will never leave me.

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Rooted in the Word of God

3 / 22 / 16

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. – [biblegateway passage=”Ephesians 3:17-18″ display=”Ephesians 3:17-18″]

Change can lead to happy occasions such as graduating from high school or having a baby.

It can also be bittersweet like saying goodbye to a loved one who is leaving home to pursue their calling from God.

Other changes make you stop and reflect on what was and what now is.

Recently my parents moved from the town they had lived in for more than twenty years. It’s the same town I call home even though I have not lived there in years.

On the day they moved, I experienced an emotional separation from this small and quiet town. I thought about the memories and the friends we made over the years – those friends who are still part of our lives today.

Until now, I returned every week to visit mom and dad. When I entered the city limits, I knew I was home. The sights and landmarks are as familiar to me as my family.

I love that I can walk into the grocery store and know all of the faces that greet me. And I love that I can sit in mom and dad’s backyard during the annual fair and visit with passersby.

Even though I no longer live there, it was comforting to know I could always go home to this place filled with many memories and still feel part of it.

When I moved away many years ago, I kept my roots planted there with mom and dad. It was my way of staying part of this wonderful town. But now that they are no longer there, what do I do with those roots?

[biblegateway passage=”Jeremiah 17:7-8″ display=”Jeremiah 17:7-8″] (NIV)

But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.

Jeremiah has taught me that my hometown roots provide wonderful memories of family and friends that I will always cherish. But I need to focus on growing other roots that are much more important.

Roots are the part of a tree that grow downward into the soil. They keep the tree anchored so that it does not fall over in the wind and provide water and food. Without roots, a tree cannot survive.

God’s word is our root. The more we read His word, the deeper our roots will be planted. These roots provide spiritual food, sustain us in the storms of life and keep us strong when temptations come our way.

The author of this[biblegateway passage=” Psalm 1:3″ display=” Psalm 1:3″] compares us to a tree. Planted by the water, a tree’s thirst is quenched through its roots, keeping it healthy and always bearing fruit.

When we study the word of God, we are fed and nourished through our roots, keeping us healthy and always bearing fruit.

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The roadmap of life

3 / 16 / 163 / 16 / 16

A few weeks ago, I travelled with my parents to an unfamiliar part of town. We had an early morning appointment and did not want to be late. Instead of risking the chance of getting lost, I used my Global Positioning System (GPS).

It got us exactly where we needed to be on time by informing me exactly when to turn and how much time it would take to reach our destination. It made our hectic morning less stressful.

The GPS is a helpful piece of technology, and I will use it again in the future. But it got me thinking about maps. Do you remember using maps – the ones with horizontal and vertical folds that once unfolded, are impossible to fold back to its original position?

I was fascinated with them. I spent hours studying possible routes before taking a trip. I knew where every state park and body of water resided and how to get to them.

Road maps not only show what’s ahead, they offer an easy route to get there. I prefer knowing I need to turn right in 10 miles rather than in 250 feet like the GPS commands. Nothing sneaks up on me and I am prepared for what is coming.

But life rarely works like that. The twists and turns of life often come suddenly and unexpectedly, leaving us unable to see what’s ahead.

Jonah found this out the hard way. In fact, he did not even realize there was a bigger picture.

[biblegateway passage=”Jonah 3:10 ” display=”Jonah 3:10″](NIV)

When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he relented and did not bring on them the destruction he had threatened.

Jonah travelled throughout Israel communicating God’s messages to his chosen people. It was his calling, and he was probably content travelling throughout the country fulfilling his mission. But one day, without warning, Jonah’s life path took a sharp turn when God instructed him to visit the city of Nineveh.

Nineveh, the capitol city of Assyria, was a powerful and wicked city. They were known for witchcraft and worshiping false gods. They also moved whole populations from their homes and were brutal to prisoners. The city was filled with so much sin that God planned to destroy it.

But God is merciful and wanted to give them a second chance. He needed someone to travel to Nineveh and warn the citizens of destruction unless they repented. God have this important mission to Jonah.

I can imagine Jonah’s reaction. “Can you repeat that?” he probably asked, thinking he heard wrong. But there it was. A mission clearly defined and meant for him.

The Assyrians were so destructive and merciless to the Israelites that Jonah did not want to see them spared from the wrath of God.

After a failed attempt at trying to run from God, Jonah eventually, and maybe reluctantly, travelled to the Nineveh to relay God’s message. It worked. Despite their wicked ways, the citizens of Nineveh were open to God’s message and repented.

But Jonah became angry. His prejudice only allowed him to be concerned for the Israelites, God’s chosen people. In his eyes, they were the only ones who needed to hear about God’s word.

This new development of a city outside of Israel repenting angered him. He grew up in fear of the Assyrians who were merciless to his people. Jonah did not feel they deserved God’s grace.

Jonah did not have a GPS or a map to guide him. He did not know what was directly ahead of him, nor could he see the future. From his position, he only saw a small portion of what was happening, but God saw the big picture.

Nineveh was a city filled with people who, for generations, had never been taught moral values or the truth about God. This concerned the Lord. It filled him with so much compassion that he chose Jonah to help these wicked people turn from their evil ways and live a holy life.

But Jonah remained blind to the opportunities his preaching in Nineveh provided.

[biblegateway passage=”Matthew 6:33″ display=”Matthew 6:33″] (NIV)

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Sometimes God will ask us to do something that makes no sense. But our God sees everything. He knows where his people are needed in the trenches of life to help others. Don’t allow your own fears, prejudices or self-interests stop you from witnessing to others.

Instead of focusing on trying to understand our mission or on the inconveniences we must suffer, we should keep our eyes on the Father who has promised to supply all of our needs, and promises that those who trust in Him will not be disappointed.

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